Orphans Beloved-Clones' Night at Bobbies
by regertz
Summary: Like my Immortal Beloved and Sheldon Swifties bits in my Buffyverse and Sheldonverse, these are fragments and short bits, some longer…Just to fiddle with ideas, possibly forming longer tales later.
1. Chapter 1

Orphans Beloved: "Clones' Night at Bobbies…"

Summary: Like my Immortal Beloved and Sheldon Swifties bits in my Buffyverse and Sheldonverse, these are fragments and short bits, some longer…Just to fiddle with ideas, possibly forming longer tales later.

Disclaimer: No copy write infringement intended…

Bobbie's Bar, Toronto's happenest night spot…

Well, ok…Not likely…Though the appearance of five rather identical young women, currently experiencing a measure of fifteen minute fame since their "coming-out" on international TV had made for a less low-key, just waiting for the word to get out, evening than usual.

Well, only a news station in Iceland, at first…But Al Jazzera has now put them on the global media map and "Ellen" beckons… "Oprah" wants to do a special "come-back" show…

"I thought this was about us and a moral issue regarding illegal human experimentation." Ally seated with Donnie, fuming at the "Oprah's Back!...and she's got the clones" poster Bobbie had prominently displayed next to a "Hangout of the Dionne knockoffs" sign on the bar door. "Now we're sideshow freaks showcasing Oprah's return? And, Miss, will you take that sign down? We are not 'knockoffs' of the Dionne quints."

"Now…Lemme get this straight…" a rather drunken Angela De Angelis, seated at the bar by Vic…Is he? Are they, actually? Ally hissed over her shoulder to Sarah in the next booth who shrugged…Just as long as he's not lookin' to reconcile with me…Eyeing the group. "You're not freaks like the Dionne quints sorta…Yer…Clone freaks?"

"Victor…" Fee sliding in next to him to grab another pitcher of beer. "Is that really diet Coke? Minus the coke?"

"My body is a temple now, Felix." Vic noted. "I don't abuse it anymore."

"We're clones…Not freaks." Alison brittley to Angela.

"And just who the hell invited these two to join our little 'coming-out' party anyway?" She looked at Sarah. "You know they've been harassing me and Donnie. Though Donnie did manfully kick their asses in a figurative way recently." She beamed at Donnie's "aw-shucks, honey" look.

"Well…I did work with Angie on the force, Al…We were colleagues." Sarah, shrugging.

"You impersonated a cop. You didn't work with her, you lied to and not to put too obsure a finger on it, endangered her life almost as much as you did Detective Bell's." Ally blinked.

"Your peace officer/new ladyfriend seems to be doing just fine for the both of you." Fee noted to Vic, eyeing Angie who'd risen and staggered to Ally.

"I wa' jest tryin' to help Beth, ya know…Loved that sweet kid. She shoulda stayed with Art and us. Art!" she turned from Alison who was sighing as she eyed the hand on her shoulder. Looking over to where Art was seated with Helena, Sarah, and Cal in their booth.

"How come ya didn't keep Bethie wid' ya? Why'dya let her go jump frontofa train for?"

"I'm trying to get her on to the Way." Vic sighed to Felix. "But it's a labor…The Buddha is testing me, I think."

"I think you need to find a real girlfriend, Victor." Fee sighed, shaking head. "And not meaning to dash your hopes again, I don't think this is the one."

"Excuse us…" Donnie had left his seat to stand in front of his and Ally's booth to rescue her from DeAngelis' fascinated…Ya look so much like Beth, ya, ya do…Attentions…

"Yeah, sure…Art?" Angie called. "Is one of them wid' ya there, Beth?" She stumbled over.

"Victor…Duty calls." Fee urged Vic who sighed, rising.

Boulder in my stream…

On the other hand…A legit chance to get Sarah to acknowledge my presence…

Surely the fact that she invited Officer DeAngelis to join Art and her at this little shindig means she secretly wanted me to come too.

She must've guess the Officer and I are like that these days.

"Honey, you know all this is just about protecting all of you." Donnie noted to an annoyed Alison.

Years I spent worrying I would end up a freak…And here I am, not only a freak but a minor, tabloid celebrity version of a freak. Not even a respectably famous, "Welcome to '60 Minutes', Alison…Donnie…" freak.

"Gettin' the word out…" he tried. "We all agreed it was the safest thing for all of you…Us."

"He' ri'!" loud call from single figure alone at table… "My li' chubby brudda is ri'…Hic…Gotta get the wor' out. We been done wron'…And the world'll gotta know. Yeah…Hic."

"I really would have thought a businesswoman like Rachel Duncan could handle her liquor better." Donnie noted quietly to Ally.

"Meds and liquor." Ally shrugged. "And I wasn't too careful about the dosage I slipped in her IV when we took her out of the Dyad medical facility. Much as I hoped the proof we had that Topside's Ferdinand had orders from Marion Bowles to clean up the problem of one Duncan would get her to agree to an alliance for survival's sake, I wasn't about to take chances."

"Hey ya, chubby li' brudda-in-laws…Why don' ya camere and sit wid' me?" Rachel called to Donnie, waving. "Aly'll be ok wid' it, ri' Aly?"

"Frankly, Ms. Duncan…" Alison began, precisely.

"See, she' ok wid' it…Come and si' down wid' me. I'm alla…Lone…" Rachel, taking swig of beer.

Is real imported swank stuf, ri'? She'd just asked the passing Bobbie again for the fourth time.

Yeah, yeah…The King of Beers…Bobbie, rolling eyes at the newest and lushest addition to the Manning family.

"Aldous is gone…Daddy is gone…Danny is gon'…I know he wasn' nice but he was my lil' Danny. And he's all gon'…Like Danny Pink and Joffrey on TV. Is so sad…We oughta have a memorial video lik' on UTube…" Rachel wept suddenly. "Don'y? Camere…?"

"Maybe I should…" Donnie, nervously eyeing Ally.

"We'll…" she replied, grimly. "Come on."

"That's so sad…" Vic, having gotten Angie off to the ladies' room for a badly needed pause with minimal trouble ("Either lemme go, ya stupid dick…Or come on in wid' me…Vicky baby."), and after a brief passing sigh to Sarah, unacknowledged, returned to his place at the bar, sighed to Fee, eyeing Rachel. "There's so much love there, untapped."

"Vic…You remember when Colonel Paul had a nail gun to your head?" Fee replied. "That's Rachel's natural state. Believe me, the only thing there, untapped, is her undigested booze and the pills Ally gave her."

"Unfocused anger…She's more like Sarah than you realize Felix." Vic noted.

"Oh, I see the Sarah, believe me." Fee nodded. Smiling to Sarah now looking over…Alls well? expression on her face.

"I sense unacknowledged hostility toward your sister, Felix. You should resolve that with her before it pollutes your relationship any further." Vic, solemnly.

"You know I liked you much better when you were an unvarnished and unapologetic dick, Victor." Fee sighed.

"So. Here we are, Ms. Duncan. What did you want?" Ally, coldly, standing by Rachel's table.

"Si' down, Donnie…" Rachel pushing chair out, hopefully…Managing a surprisingly warm tone that only fueled Alison's growing burn.

"Uh, sure." He took seat.

"I'm sor' I told Aldous you were dumb as a lamp post." Rachel, sadly. "I didn' mean it."

"That's ok. I was pretty stupid to listen to Dr. Leekie." Donnie smiled.

"Is that what you and the late Dr. Leekie said about my husband?" Ally, grimly. "We were just a big joke to you two, eh?"

"It wasn't really Alsous…Aldous'…" Rachel sighed. "Thinking…He liked Donnie, when he was taking such good carea you, hic-hic. Al…us' just had to be kinda hard on folks sometimes."

"Yes, like when he and you killed innocent people." Ally, coolly.

"Aldous didn't kill anyone but that lousy Kevin…That perv. Dany did kill the cop guy, sor'…" Rachel looked down. "Sor' Sara!" she called over.

Sarah sighing at her booth.

"Sestra…She is helping." Helena, cautiously.

"She's 'helpin' cause we snatched her outta Dyad and then she realized we weren't lyin' and Ferdinand and Topside had her in their sights."

"Sarah…I killed Mama and spit on her poor corpse. You forgave." Wan look. "Though I never can, even if I know Mama has forgive. Called to me when I was in the grip of the devil, Henrik and showed me the way to freedom…" clenched hands, anxious look.

"You were abused and brainwashed…" Sarah frowned. "And I'm frankly still not comfortable with what happened, though I believe you mean it about Mama. But I haven't seen Rachel show a bit of remorse or do anything not in her interests. We're helping her survive, that's enough."

"Besides…" she smiled at Art. "If me partner here is willing to take you on…"

"Is like 'Leetle Womens', yes? I am sestra Amy, marrying to Laurie when Jo cannot make work, yes?" beam to Art.

"Yeah, exactly like that…" Cal nodded solemnly, grin to Sarah.

"But he is no substitute…" Helena, urgently. "When I saw him so brave with fish peoples, my heart first lept and I knew Mama had sens him to save me. And when he came to the base and Paul almost kills him and the crazy boy copies almost kills him and he is hurt but saves me from the military peoples and that demon doctor lady…I felt again the leaps in my heart. But it was the nice time we had running from them through the snows country when he was hurt and I nurse…That was when I knew Arthur needed me much as I needs him." Fond beam to Art, taking hand.

"Well, Art's made it clear he wants this and you're both adults…" Sarah paused.

"Sorts of…" Helena filled in, grinning. "And I am glad you have the reservations…If shoes was on other feet and he was my beloved partner…I woulds not be eager to let him marry psycho Helena either. But I will be good to him, Sarah…Mama…And Beth…I promise." Tears in eyes.

"I believe you, Hel…" Sarah patted her hand. "And God knows Art's the only one of us who could have a prayer of handling you."

"Oh, yeah. Art's got my number. I just took the dips shit by surprise that one time." Eagerly. "Only great detective could have found and rescued me. Like Sherlock…" fond smile to Art who gave sheepish smile back.

"Well, you did gut Paul like a fish after the Colonel shot me." he noted, smiling.

"But you brought him down with response shot sos I could…" she beamed.

Donnie and Ally, listening…Tearing up mutually.

Oh…We know the feeling…

"You know Arthur has been perfect gentleman though our time together…" Helena added hastily, nervously to Sarah. "He would never take advantage of disturbeds girl like me."

"I'd expect no less." Sarah, nodding. Mock frown to Art who grinned.

"Of course what about this Jesse guy?" Cal cut in.

"Oh." Helena, slightly downcast. "He was very nice but very married."

"That louse." Sarah glared, sincerely.

"Well, she was sick long time, he was lonely. He didn't think we would meet again…All we did was dance and kiss once, Sarah."

"Doesn't that constitute a marriage proposal in the Ukraine?" Sarah, grinning.

"A while ago…We've modernized. You don't have to give goats or sheeps now either." Helena, smile.

"Well, not everywhere in Ukraine now." She noted.

"Well, he's still not boyfriend material in my book…Which does leave the field clear for you, partner." Sarah nodded at Art.

"Oh boy, sestra blessing." Helena clapped hands eagerly. "Thanks, Sarah."

"You didn't kill this Jesse guy by any chance…?" Cal eyed her.

"And risk Arthur's career?…Please…He just got reinstated. Plus I'm hoping to get on force with recommendations of Beth's friends. No way." Helena, firmly.

"Thanks." Art nodded, to Sarah's careful and quite sincere look.

Please…Please…Don't let her down, Art.

Never…

Helena eyeing them. Quiet smile.

"He will be true, Sarah. I know Arthur. He had his chance to run from crazy me. And I am not just Beth substitute. We have discussed."

"That I do believe." Sarah grinned. "After all, you always were the worst possible Beth."

"Oh…" Helena, mock pouting…

"If onl' I'd met someone lik' you, Donnie…" Rachel had put hand on his. Alison's burn turning to near open boil now. "Before I went and got so…"

"Vicious, murderously bitchy?" Ally asked, brightly, icy look.

"Uh-oh…" Helena nudged Art. "Sestra Ally is not happy."

Even Ally a bit stunned as Rachel dropped head, weeping.

"Yo' ri'…I's a bitch…A one-eyed, murderin' bitch!" she sobbed. "And everyone hates me, wid' gud reson. Oh…They oughta put me in da clink and throw the key…Away. Hic."

No problem there…Sarah noted quietly to Cal.

"Even Kira hates Auntie Rach now…" weeping, then look round. "Is Kira…?"

"Certainly not. Sarah would never bring Kira to a bar, especially one with you there. And…Well, naturally." Alison frowned. "You were going to keep her at Dyad and give her mother an oophorectomy, of course Kira's angry at you."

The one aunt our girl doesn't love…Rather smug smile.

"Ally…" Donnie sighed, patting Rachel's arm.

"Donnie…It's nice Adolfa Hitler here while stoned feels somewhat bad about her Dr. Mengele, Dr. Nealon and about having her stooge kill a cop and torment Sarah, all out of jealousy. No matter what she may say about orders from Topside, etc…"

"I didn't ha' orders from Topside…" Rachel looked up. "At leas' none to go and kill cops and hold Sarah in our own jail. You're ri' I'ma Hitter in a dress. Oh…Mummy will be so disappoin' in me. Winston Chur'll'll say… 'Rachel, you bitch, you'ra disgrace to Queena countr'…A Hitter in a dress'…and Daddy…Daddy…" weeping. "He said I didn' deserve him an'more."

"Well…" Ally, sternly. "That does seem to me to be…"

"Ally…" Donnie.

"You're so nice, Donnie…" Rachel beamed at him. "I would've been such a nice girl with you…" weeping again immediately. "Why didn't Aldous find me a you?!" she wept, burying head in arm.

"Just what did you give her?" Donnie, anxiously.

"Nothing that'll likely kill her…" Ally shrugged.

"I shoulds speak to Rachel…" Helena got out of the booth. "No one understands crazy killer sestra like crazy psycho killer sestra, yes?" grin to Art, then smile at Sarah and Cal.

"I've always luved you Donnie…!" Rachel grabbing at his arm. "I used to fantasize I'd come to yer hous' in a soccer mom suit and tell you I wuz Ally…I even made Dany dress up like you!"

"You British bitch!" Ally rose as Donnie backed away.

"Alison…Sestra…" Helena urgently as she reached them. "Please…Lets not fight now."

"I agree…" Donnie urged.

At least not in public with all your sisters watching…He noted to Ally quietly.

We can always lure Rachel to the garage later.

"I can't help it…We all love the same guys. Like you like Cal and Paul, Ally. I's onl' natur'l. Hic." Rachel noted.

"I do not 'love' Cal and Paul." Alison, sternly. "I may sexually objectify them and Art but…"

"Excuse…?" Helena stared.

"Well, it's only natural that we'd be somewhat attracted to…" Ally began.

Dear God, look whom I'm sayin' this to…?

"Excuse me?" Donnie frowned.

"I suppose is true. I like teddy bear Donnie too." Helena shrugged.

"What?!" Ally glared.

"Onl' natur'l. Alsous coulda explained it better but…" Rachel began.

"Shut up!" Ally, Donnie…

"Sor'…" Rachel, weeping again. "I don't deserve ma sisters either…"

"I like not hunt down and force to have sex…" Helena shook head. "Rachel is right, is only natural. Like you think Sarah and Cosima doesn't like Donnie."

"Cosima? She's gay." Ally blinked.

"So…Sexuality is spectrum, sestra."

"And of course Sarah…" Ally began…

Wait a mo…

Judas Priest…She did seem to enjoy role-playing with Donnie at New Path.

"What?" Sarah stared. "I have Cal and Paul…I mean…I have Cal." She corrected.

"What would I want with a sweet soft teddy bear all caramely soft like Donnie?"

"Ok, that's not funny." Ally frowned.

"Yeah, funny…" Sarah nodded…Nervous glance to Cal. "I'm a barrel of laughs on our nights out ya know."

"But if we're all somewhat attracted to the same guys…" Ally began.

"Sestra…I am much better. But take advice and don't pursue thought train back to my honey." Helena, firmly.

Really?…Art, Donnie…Slight beams to each other.

Oh my God…Fee blinking. Picturing Tony.

No, oh no…No…

"This is all ma faul'…" Rachel, weeping as she shook head.

"Yeah, it is." Ally, grimly.

"Sestra…" Helena sighed. "Power mad, insane sestra knows we will cut her into pieces and my Art and his police friends, especially funny coroner lady, will happily help us cover 'disappearance' or blame on Dyad contract killer if she makes trouble again. Lets try starting over as nice sestras. We make big family, yes?"

"Well, maybe if we keep her on the drugs. She's actually kinda tolerable sloshed, except for making passes at my husband." Ally noted

"I'd do tha' an'ways. I was gonna haf Dr. Nealon rip ya eyeball out and then have ya cut up for spare parts and take your place with Donnie and the kids. Sor'." Rachel shrugging. "But tha' so wrong…" weeping again. "Daddy'd never love me again if I did tha'."

"No, he wouldn't." Sarah, grimly

"Anyway, getting back to this 'attracted' business…" Ally reflected to Helena, shrewd look at Sarah. "I think I know now why we have a visit from the sororal order of Toronto's finest."

"Bloody what?" Sarah stared from her stop next to Cal as Ally whispered to Helena.

"Ah…Yes…And…" Helena whispered back. Both grinning at Sarah…

"Damn you both, what?" Sarah, glaring.

"Victor? Have you met our sister, Rachel?" Ally, arch look to Sarah as Vic looked over.

Oooh…Rachel looked as Ally waved Vic over to them.

"Nemensa…" Vic nodded, bowing.

"Goddamn you both to Hell. One word to Cal and I swear…" Sarah hissed to the grinning Ally and Helena.

"Victa, tha' a beautiful name…" Rachel noted. "Means 'He will win', ya know? I like guys who will win." Eager smile. She pulled at chair for him which he took, just a tad reluctantly.

Something tells me I been down this stream before, big-time…He thought.

"I really am over him…I just wanted to see him one last time, for old times sake? Aw, come on guys. You know I love Cal." Sarah whispered. Pausing to frown at Rachel as she eagerly took Vic's hand.

"Oooh, say. What happened to ya fingas?"

"I think probably about the same thing that happened to your eye, Miss." He noted, sympathetic shrugging smile, she returning shyly.


	2. Chapter 2

Orphans Beloved: "Clones' Night at Bobbies…"

Summary: Like my Immortal Beloved and Sheldon Swifties bits in my Buffyverse and Sheldonverse, these are fragments and short bits, some longer…Just to fiddle with ideas, possibly forming longer tales later.

Disclaimer: No copy write infringement intended…

About one hour later…

"Da…Hill's alive…Wid' da sounda Musick!" Rachel, standing on chair, bellowing into microphone…

"C'mon Vic, singit wid'me!" she urged a forlorn Victor standing by her.

"Cosima…" Cal shook his head at her beside him now in the booth, Delphine frowning from across... "You shouldn't have come back, you should be in bed."

"I wasn't gonna miss this." Cos, beaming as she watched Rachel… "Kira's asleep and Mrs. S is there…"

"And?" Delphine, grimly.

"And I promised to stay no more than thirty minutes." Cosima nodded solemnly.

"So hi' ona Hill, you ca' somethin', somethin'… Everabudy!"

"Jesus…" Sarah, on Cal's other side, shook her head, watching.

"You is so lik' Beth…" Angie, standing a bit wobbly, noted eagerly to Alison, seated with Donnie across, back in their booth.

"Not really, Officer." Ally, grimly. "We're all very different people."

"Angela?" Helena to the rescue… "Arthur wants to talk with you, if you would come? Is about seeing how we can get me into police academy. He's needing your expertise, partner."

Thank…You…Ally, Donnie eyeing Helena.

"Art? Sur'…" Angie nodded fervently. "Say…Hel…If you wuz a brunette…You'd be so lik'…" as she was led away...

Art nodding...Nicely done, partner...To Helena's pleased beam.

"Dough's what I wus in this for! Ray, Dyad's ass go' kicked…!" Rachel had moved on in the repertoire… "C'amon, Vic! Let 'em hear ya at Topsi'…Da basta's! Me, who go' no dad..dy…Now…" Weeping as she stumbled back down, Vic helping her sit.

Uh-boy…Sarah eyed Cal.

"Whatever Ally gave her, I'd like to try." Cosima grinned.

"Not till your course of treatment is done." Delphine, sternly.

"Amen." Sarah nodded.

"Hey, Art!" Angie had stumbled into the booth he'd moved to with Helena to let Cos and Delphy sit with the others. "She's so lik' Bethy, isn't she? Our lil' Ukranyan ser'al killa…"

"They're both very determined." Art grinned at Helena who made a face.

"Hey." Angie's face darkening as she looked over. "Who's that with Victa?" she rose.

"Hey! Hey!" she was up and moving before even a startled Helena could stop her.

"Whada doin' with ma Victa, you…Odda Beth!...?"

"I'd better go and get Vic out of there." Sarah noted to Cal. "The poor guy's had his share…" She unable to repress the clear eagerness as she slipped out the other side, hurriedly.

Cal, blinking after her. Cosima eyeing Delphine who winced.

"She still likes him, doesn't she?" he sighed.

"Who, Vic? No…Not at all." Cos, firm shake of head, slight, desperately repressed cough.

"That's it, we are going." Delphine insisted.

"Del, please…" Cosima pleaded.

"Angela…Please no scene…" Helena urged, taking the furious Angie…No freakin' freak of a Dionne knockoff takes my…. "Sestra Rachel is just sloshed. She does not love Victor."

"You's such a nice guy, Victa…" Rachel was looking up from her weeping now as he patted her head. "Ya know, I'm kinda lik' Sara' and I luvs ya. And I's still pretty rich, ya know? Good catch?"

"Hey, you freakin' freak!" Angie hollered. "Beth! Tha's ma guy! You got Art already!"

Helena blinking now…Turning to eye a hapless Fee…

Brother-sestra…You were sure Officer Angie was…

Fee, shrugging…Bi, maybe…Sometimes my radar's a bit off.

Like with my sisters…Oh, God…He put hand to head.

Maybe it's just latent biness in them, expressed only in Antoinette. Yeah. Nothing to worry about.

Oh, God...

"Bobbie." he turned to the bartender who was frowning at the lack of crowd for her "celebrity" night.

Definitely minor celebrities...

"Felix."

"Something guaranteed to kill those pesky brain cells, at once."

"Angela, this is not..." Victor began.

"I'lls show ya the Way...Out thru da door, ya princess bitch Beth!" Angie fumed, grabbing for Rachel.

"Daddy! Mummy! Unka Aldous! Help! They've cum fer me!" Rachel cried, stumbling back behind a sighing Vic.

Such is my...OW! Jesus!...As Angie accidently grabbed his injured hand...Fate. "Hey! Watch the hand, Officer!"

"Hey!" Sarah, grabbing at Angie. "Stop that!"

"Sara'? You luv me?" Rachel blearily staring up as Sarah came "to her rescue". "Victa, ma skanky twin luvs me, too!" happily. "Hey, don't hurt ma new boyfrien'..." she glared at Angie, rising up.

"What do I do?" Cal eyed Cosima who seemed rather concerned about Vic herself, staring over... "That poor guy", shaking head.

"Huh? Oh...Don't worry about it. Sarah loves you." she absently patted him.

"Hey!" Delphine, glaring, angry glance Vicward.

Now who the hell is this one?

"I think he is like, sad little puppy man..." Helena noted to Art as they watched, she having decided to leave it to Sarah. "We cannot help being sorry for when he is not being complete dick, yes?"

"Sorry..." Ally whispered to Donnie. "It's not quite the event evening I'd hoped for..."

"Heck, I'm having a ball..." he grinned.

"I really don't love that one. Or the others." she noted, anxiously.

"Eh...If you weren't a little attracted to that one, there'd've been no hope for me." Donnie smiled.

"Oh, you..." Ally beamed, kissing his hand.

"And of course..." arch look.

"Yeah...You're loving that, I know." she mock-frowned. "Well, I trust my sisters, exceptin' Rachel but I think we'll do our best to avoid tempting Fate in the future, eh, Hendrix?"

"Right, Hendrix." he raised glass to hers. Clinking.

"Les, kil'er, Sara'..." Rachel urged as Sarah restrained Angie a bit, with Vic's help. "Bonda sisterhood lik' you and Hely...Oh..." she caught Victor's look. "Tha'd be wrong...Daddy wouldn't lik' it. Nefer mind."

"Wha' I gotta los' you now to these freaks? Freaks!" Angie sadly, angrily eyed Vic.

"Tha's ri'...He's mine!" Rachel noted proudly. "Les go, Victa...We can go do weird stuff at ma nice place. But I won' hur' ya, cause ma daddy and mum and sistas wouldn't lik' it."

Sarah a bit peeved even as she held Angie...

Yours? Vic? Glance Vicward...

"Oh...Ri' I can't go home, I'd be kills. Les go to Felix's place...It's kinky..." Rachel urged.


End file.
